Monsters Don't Exist
by Innocent Fangs
Summary: Clarissa is giving up. She has no one left. She killed them all. Darkness is consuming her and she is becoming everything she hates. She is becoming her other self. She is becoming Clary. All human, rated T for dark themes. Oneshot.


**AN: I do not own The Mortal Instruments… yet. But I do own this story!**

**This is an Oneshot and it is quite… depressing... I can't think of a better word. Sorry for such the long wait but my dog died on Boxing day. There has just been so much drama recently. Anyways, HAVE A GREAT NEW YEAR! **

**And I hope you don't hate it (this story…)**

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**Clary's Pov:**

I can't bring myself to care. For all the lives lost, for the hearts that have been broken. For the lovers that I've killed, the children that have lost hope because of me. For all my mistakes, all of my regrets.

I honestly don't care.

I guess that I have no reason to. To care.

I have no one. No one at all. My parents have died (Jocelyn and Luke). They left me when I needed them most. It's not like Valentine ever even cared for me.

My husband. My strong, handsome man that told me he would never leave. But he did he left forever. In the worst way possible.

My three children. My gorgeous girls. Anna, Calypso and Isabelle. They were so young when their lives were ripped from their grasp.

And the thing is…

It was all my fault.

But there was nothing I could've done.

I killed them.

What's worse was I enjoyed it.

I got a knife and stabbed my mother in the heart. It was a golden dagger that finished her off. Just one simple twist of the blade.

It was like that for all of them. A dagger which was stabbed in their heart. With a satisfied smile as I saw their crimson blood drip down and stain the pristine white carpet.

I have killed her so many times. I killed the other Clary. Or tried to.

What other Clary? You say.

The Clary with bloodshot black eyes, unruly black hair, a devilish smile upon her lips.

Sometimes she speaks to me, taunting me, twisting my thoughts. I see her everywhere. Mirrors, she copies me making me think that I am her. Sometimes when bad I see other people as her. Her face morphs onto someone I love. On to a stranger. On to everyone. I hate her.

After Jace's death I was never the same. He was the one keeping me rooted to this world, this reality. Now that he's gone, now that I've killed him; I have nothing.

I am slowly turning into that other Clary.

It's getting so much worse.

I head off to the nearest pub, to drown away my sorrows. 1 beer, 2, 3…11, 12.

The bartender says that I've had enough with a chuckle. I slowly turn my head to look at him.

ITS HER!

No, no, no! She's looking at me. Staring.

"Clary. Don't you remember me?" A wicked grin appears on her face.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" I scream, closing my eyes. It's too much! I can't handle this.

I turn back towards her. She's gone. The bartender looks at me. Worry; concern written all over his face.

"Sorry sir. I'm not feeling to well."

I gag. My stomach not being able to hold so much liquor. I head to the bathroom, some people turning their heads to look at a raging lunatic, otherwise known as me.

I wipe my face after throwing up in the toilet. I look up into the mirror. As my eyes adjust, I see her. I scream a blood-curdling scream. SHE'S BACK! But no one can hear me.

"Hello Clarissa. Did you really think I would ever leave?" Her eyes sparkle with mirth.

"Clary, Clary, Clary. I'll never leave, you see I can't. I can't leave you because I am you. You are me. We are one."

"NO! NO; I AM NOT YOU! I CAN'T BE! I CAN LOVE! I AM REAL!" My head starts to spin.

"YOU, YOU ARE FAKE! YOU – YOU RUINED MY LIFE!" My eyes blur.

"Clary. Look what you have become. You have become everything you hate. Me. You have killed everyone you loved and you think that you are not a monster. That where ever they are, they still love you. Oh you stupid little girl! You will never be free and they will never forgive you for all the lives you took." The shaking starts.

"I am proud of you Clary."

And with that I start to sob uncontrollably on the tiled floor. I hate her. I hate myself. I hate what I have become. Death becomes such an intriguing option. It's right aroung the corner, almost comforting.

What is the point? A question that is constantly reoccurring in my mind. The point of life? Is it just the constant limbo of living and not living, of being happy or being sad, of wrong and right?

Suddenly I see a glimpse of silver. A vase holding… what seem to be black and red roses. Oh, how ironic. I stare at it for what seems a millennia, my sobs still racking through my body.

I could easily just smash the vase and end my misery. Grab a shard of glass and stab my heart. Destroy this… person… no this MONSTER.

And that is exactly what I did. As the glass rips through my skin I feel a sense of freedom. I stare at myself in the mirror while doing this, 'she' is still there but now she can not kill anymore innocent lives, she can't, I can't.

A sigh. Relief.

I say one last sentence as the darkness surrounds.

"Monsters don't exist."

I died with a smile on my face.

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**No one's pov:**

On the 6 o'clock news report:

Clarissa Adele Morgenstern died yesterday. Clarissa was the daughter of multimillionaire Valentine Morgenstern and we are deeply sorry for his loss.

It was vicious suicide; she had stabbed herself with a nearby broken vase. We have done some testing and found out some shocking results. Clarissa had a severe case of schizophrenia –which had never been diagnosed– and has been known to see another version of herself and try and kill the people that take its form.

She was 29 and again we will miss her very much.

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**Thanks for reading. Sorry if there are any mistakes... **

**I'll see you later.**

**Xx Innocent Fangs ~*~**


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